


This is Where it Starts

by rawr_ishaley



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 (TV) RPF, The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: AU, Arranged Marriage, Bellamy Has Feelings, F/M, Original Fiction, POV Bellamy Blake, POV Original Character, POV Original Female Character, alternative universe, population control
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-04-14 18:43:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14142186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rawr_ishaley/pseuds/rawr_ishaley
Summary: Let me start this story by telling you about the program the Ark has put into place to maintain it’s healthy population. When a person turns 18 on the Ark they are subjected to several tests- blood, DNA, fertility, aptitude, personality and so on. Then the results are taken and compared to the results of all single people who have been deemed healthy enough to contribute to the population. If you get a match of 85% or higher you are paired with that person. Today is my 18th birthday.





	1. Cassiana Miles

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AJ Sully](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=AJ+Sully).



       My name is Cassiana Miles, most people call me Cassy. I grew up on Farm Station aboard The Ark. I was raised by my father when my mother was killed in an uprising on Factory Station. I turned 18 a few days before we made The Ark fall from the sky to save ourselves.

       Let me start this story by telling you about the program the ark has put into place to maintain it’s healthy population. When a person turns 18 on the ark they are subjected to several tests- blood, DNA, fertility, aptitude, personality and so on. Then the results are taken and compared to the results of all single people who have been deemed healthy enough to contribute to the population. If you get a match of 85% or higher you are paired with that person. Age does not matter in this process- you could be 40 before you get a match of 85 percent.

       When my 18th birthday came around I thought I had escaped having to do these test, the ark was already starting to display the symptoms of oxygen deprivation- I was wrong. My father and I were awoken by a banging on the door of our compartment. There were three guard outside to escort me to the Medbay to begin first of my test.

       I was walked from Farm Station to Alpha in the shorts and top I wore to bed each night. I was relieved that most people had been sequestered to their rooms to preserve oxygen. The walk was dark and silent. When I arrived Dr. Griffin was the only one there. I had grown closer to her in the past few weeks. I had started working in medical a while ago but with the recent surge in patient, my duties had greatly increased.

       She gave me a sad smile and ushered me to sit on the bed then told the guards to leave. “Okay Cassy, right now we are just going to do your blood work to see if we even need to continue with the other test.” She quickly drew my blood and went the lab.

       I sat in silence thinking about my results. If my blood showed that I have or could in the future have some sort of defect I would not be allowed to contribute to the population. In the past I had thought it would be okay to have a kid but with the current state of the ark it seemed insane. It  _was_ insane.

       Before I had a chance to think on it anymore Abby came back in the room, “We cannot find any defects in your blood. Now we will administer your fertility test.” She did not look me in the eye for the rest of our time together.

       After about 5 hours, groggy from the drugs I was given, I was escorted back to my room and instructed to sleep for the rest of the day. I did sleep well, into the next day and only woke up when my father made me eat. I did not know how strong those drugs would be.

       In the early afternoon I made my ways back to medical to help with patients but there were none, again Abby was the only one there. I caught her as she was rushing out, “Dr. Griffin where is everyone?”

       “Cassy!” She seemed surprised to see me, “You should be resting in your room.”

       “What do you mean I was only told to rest a day and I thought I could do easy jobs and help with patients but,” I gestured to the waiting room, “but, it seems we don’t have any.”

       She put her hand on my shoulder and led me away from medical, “Cassy a lot has happened in the past 24 hours.” She told me how they had come up with a solution to save the most people. She told me how for the rest of the day everyone was working to get the entire ark to the ground. “Your father is probably working on that right now. But I need you to rest some more. If everything was right and you were getting the right amount of oxygen you would be fine now but that is not the case. So,” we approached my door, “Go inside and rest up. In a few hours I will call you to help me with final descension preparations.” I looked at her hesitantly, “I promise.” She opened my door and pushed me in.

       I had fully intended on seeking out my father as soon as she was gone but when I hit the couch I fell asleep.

       I woke up to what I thought was screaming. I searched the compartment for my father then went to check the corridor. Just as I reached for the doorknob our intercom system began to ring. I answered- it was Abby.

       “Good you’re awake. Have you looked outside yet?”

       “No, why?”

       “There was an official announcement instructing people to get to designated zone in the corridors.”

       “How did I not hear that? Where in that zone on my station?”

       She looked worried, “It is on the other side of Farm Station. You have a better chance of making it to Alpha Station and going down with me but you must be fast. We descend in 10 minutes.”

       “Have you spoken to my father? Where is he,” as I finished my second question the coms started to ring again, “Never mind that is him now. I be there as fast as possible Abby.”

       “Hurry Cassy,” was all she could yell before I disconnected.

       “Dad where are you?”

       “I am in the drop zone on Farm Station,” he was yelling over a commotion of people, “Cassy you have to get to the Alpha zone. You will not make it here.”

       I went to speak but he cut me off, “You have to hurry Cassy! You have 10 minutes! I promise I’ll see you on the ground!” Just as he spoke the word he was cut off and the alarms started blaring.

       I raced to put on my shoes and ran to the door. The crowd in the hall had thinned but even when it was clear it would take me more than 5 minutes to get to Alpha Station. With no other option I stayed close to the wall and went as fast as I could.

       “Please make your way to a designated zone. In 6 minutes the ark will begin its descent,” the Chancellor’s announcement came every minute and only seemed to rile up the crowds more.

       I was running into Alpha Station when the two-minute warning came on. I was searching for Abby through the crowd when everyone sat. I immediately ran to her. She pulled me down beside her and put her arm around my shoulder. We sat for only a few second when the alarms stopped and the Chancellor's voice came over the intercoms.

       “In peace may you leave this shore. In love may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels until our final journey to the ground. May we meet again.” With that we began to fall. Eventually the silence gave way to the screams of a terrified people. My head bounced off the wall behind me and everything went black.


	2. After Ark

       There were alarms blaring. The lights were flickering wildly. Smoke filled the air. My eyes wouldn’t allow me to focus on any one thing. I looked beside me and Abby was gone. Unsteadily I stood only to fall back down.

       “Cassy!” Jackson quickly approached me, “Cassy are you okay?” He helped me stand up.

       “I’m fine Jackson. I just hit my head.”

       He responded by flashing his penlight in my eyes.

       I smacked away the light, “I _said_ I’m fine. Probably just a bit concussed. Where is Abby?”

       “ _She_ is fine. She went to go look outside.” He gestured down a hall, “But there are a lot of minor injuries. So, if you are _fine_ then start helping.” He thrusted a med-kit in my hand and walked away

       It was awhile before we had the okay to leave the ship. There was a blur of bruises and scrapes to occupy my time. In fact, that was how I would spend the next few months.

       After we landed we found that all the other stations had either been destroyed by their re-entry into the atmosphere or where lost and thought to be destroyed. Farm station was lost and my father along with it. When I found this out I shut down. I didn’t get involved in the war with the grounders, nor the war with the mountain. I didn’t get involved with the internal power struggle between Kane and Abby, nor between Abby and Jaha. I didn’t get involved with any of the survivors of The Ark. I simply kept my head down and did my work. I let the world move without me.

      After several months of relative peace, those of us who had survived were summoned to the yard. Our new council had set up a stage for assembly. On the stage stood Abby, Kane, and Jaha and a few guards.

       “Thank you all for coming,” Jaha began to speak. “This assembly was called to discuss our life on the ground.”

       “Thank you Councilor Jaha but I will take over,” Kane began. I looked at Abby to see why she wasn’t leading the meeting. She seemed to be intentionally not looking in my direction. “While our life on the ground has not been without its setbacks,” this brought on a laugh from the group, “we have started to adjust. We now have steady access to food and water. We are starting construction permanent living quarters. I am proud to say we have settled nicely.” The group cheered for that but went quiet when Kane put his hand up. “It is now time we look to the future. On The Ark we had a system in place to maintain a steady population.” Kane looked from Jaha to Abby. “The council has agreed that on a trial basis we should see how that system works on the ground.”

       The crowd erupted. Some seemed outraged and some seemed indifferent. “People, please,” Jaha jumped in to quiet the crowd, “As Councilor Kane said, this will only be on a trial bases. It is important to make sure our population doesn’t exceed our resources.”

       The crowd silenced and Kane started again. “Exactly. Although our resources are steady now, that could change tomorrow. And unlike on The Ark where an engineer could fix the problem quickly any slight change could cripple us for a long time. So, for now we want to see if our previous system can work for us on the ground.” When he thought he had the crowd under control he began again, “Now, we have decided to match one couple for the time being. That couple with be chosen from the small pool of those that have been tested and survived our journey to the ground.”

       This got my attention. Considering that people are matched as soon as an appropriate person is found and considering that most of The Ark’s population had not survived. That had to be a very small amount of people.

       “That leaves us with a small amount of people to choose from,” _figures_ “and exactly one appropriate match.” The crowd was entirely silent as he spoke, “Fortunately both people have been upstanding and essential to creating a way of life on the earth. Let’s bring them up.” My heart was pounding in my ear, “Will Bellamy Blake please come up?” Everyone turned to see the new Captain of the Guard. He was standing at the back of the crowd. He was dumbfounded and looked around him. Quickly his face morphed to a soldier’s stoic look of duty and he marched to the stage. He was well known. I was not sure of the full story but I knew he had been important in the war. He handed his weapon to a guard as he took his place next to Kane.

       This was very similar to how we did it on The Ark. When the man was announced her would stand on the left of the Chancellor and then the women on the right.

       Kane shook the soldier’s hand and turned back to the podium, my heart beat got louder, “Now, can I please get Cassiana Miles to join me and her match?”

       It was my turn to have everyone’s attention. I couldn’t move. I didn’t understand how this could be happening. But, I wasn’t given time to think on it, Kane called my name again as a guard walked towards me.

       I stood and walked to the stage, before I was dragged there, and took my spot. “Now, Captain Blake is a soldier of immeasurable importance and Dr. Miles is the youngest person in our history to get her title. They both have helped us in many ways, and now we must call upon them to help us again. With a match of 92%, we must ask them to help us maintain our population.”

       He continued to speak but my ears were over taken by a high-pitch ring. Before I knew it, I was being ushered inside with guard on either side of me. It was time for the binding ceremony.

 


	3. To be Bound

       I wasn’t sure what this binding ceremony would entail. During my training I learned that on The Ark an official would permanently mark the couple with a device that imitated a brand, binding them for life. A far as I knew, the official in charge of this had not survived and I hadn’t come across that device since we landed. My questions were answered when I walked into the Med-Bay.

       Abby was standing next to a table set up with ink, with a man I recognized as the grounder we had accepted as our own, but I couldn’t remember his name. Abby spoke as we entered, “The technology that we used on The Ark to bind couples was lost in the crash,” her voice lowered, “and so was the official who used it.” She looked at me then to my match and continued. “This is Lincoln. He has agreed to help us adapt our process to work on the ground.”

       The man- Lincoln- stepped forward, “My people use ink and needles to distinguish warriors and their accomplishments.” A lump developed in my throat as I began to get the picture. “In those cases, we had an elder or an official tattoo the warriors, but I am all you got.” Lincoln sat down at one end of a short narrow table with two seats at the other end, “We can start now.”

       The guards nudged me and my match to sit. “As you know,” Abby started, “during the binding ceremony two people become one, to symbolize that each of you will have half of a design put on your skin.”

       I was terrified. Lincoln placed my right forearm, with my hand facing up, flat on the table. Then he looked at my match’s uniform, “I am going to need your arm bare Bellamy.” My match seemed annoyed at this. He stood and devested himself and then unbuttoned his shirt. He pulled his guard uniform off revealing a sweat stained gray tank top and took his seat again. “Thank you,” Lincoln said as he placed my match’s left arm over mine so our pinkies were next to each other. He was much too close to me. The only comfortable way to sit was for me to slouch down and let him lean over me.

       I chose to focus on every move Lincoln made rather than the breath of my match on the top of my head, or the size of his arm next to mine. Lincoln grabbed a stencil from his table and placed it across our arms a bit above the wrist. This was my first chance to see it.

       “As you two will be our first match on the ground, the Council has decided that the earth should be the symbol that binds you.” As Abby spoke Lincoln revealed a simple drawing of the earth. The design was about 3 by 3 inches on both arms. It was difficult to distinguish the continents, but on my arm was North and South America and on his was Europe and Africa.

       Lincoln finished sketching the design and looked to us, “So, who wants to go first?” Before I had a chance to consider, my partner volunteered.

       My partner was guided to a lounging seat while I stood to the side. Lincoln pulled out what looked to be a needle on a stick and a small mallet. “Now, this has been known to be a painful process and it is important that you are completely still,” Lincoln explained looking at my partner, “Do you need someone to hold you down?”

       “No, I’ll be fine,” He answered without hesitation.

       Lincoln started quickly. He traced the design and every few minutes dipped the needle in ink.

       I moved away from the chair not wanting to look to closely at what would be happening on my arm shortly. What the symbol represented kept running through my mind. It meant that I was bound to this man- a perfect stranger. I would have to live with him, and very soon I would be expected to have children with him.

       On The Ark newly matched couples would have a child in the first year. When I was young this seemed completely normal, almost mundane. If you were lucky you would be matched with someone you barely knew then you would have a child- but now I couldn’t fathom it. On The Ark it made sense, only a few people could have children in order to maintain balance. But now it didn’t. We were on the ground! Why should we force strangers to procreate when there were people in loving relationships who want children?

       My thoughts were fueling my rage. Besides me, everyone in the room had gathered to watch Lincoln mark my partner. He sat there stoic. The whole time he looked at his feet rather than at the needle.

       To calm myself I decided to study him. I examined his uniform starting at his shoes, and went up. His pants were dirty with mud and dust. You could only get your clothes washed once every two weeks- we were limited to one stream and had a few hundred people’s clothes to wash. His tank top must have been a little small- it hugged his torso tightly. He had a few scars on his arms which I guessed were from combat. My eyes drifted up from his chest and our eyes met.

       I realized that I hadn’t even looked at him since this all started. His gaze was intense, I could only hold it for a second before looking away. I took a few more steps away from the room’s main event to distance myself from his eyes- that I could still feel on me.

       As I inched closer to the door, no one noticed me. I surveyed the group to see if anyone was paying attention to my movements- they weren’t. Once the idea hit my mind there was only one thing for me to do. I did one last check of my surroundings and prepared myself.

       It was a mistake to look at Bellamy again. He somehow knew exactly what my next move would be. He arched his eyebrows in a questioning manner- as if daring me to do it. So, I held his gaze for a second- then I ran.


	4. Marked (Bellamy's POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Bellamy Blake's Point of View.

       She was gone. Our eyes had connected briefly and I knew instantly what her next move would be. Lincoln continued to mark my arm and all the guards and councilors crowded around me, but she had taken off.

  
       I stared at the space she had been occupying for a full minute trying to establish my feelings. I am glad she ran- it was what I wanted to do. She took her chance, when she got one, to change her outcome. I am enraged that she ran. My arm was currently being painfully marked for life and she ran. As if I am the only one who should have to endure this- the mark and the match. She is a coward.

  
       As I went to call attention to the gone girl one of my men did it for me. “Where is the other one?”

  
       His words brought on chaos. Lincoln stopped marking my arm. Kane started barking orders, “Stop standing around! Find her! Someone sound the alarm! I am going to make an announcement.” I went to stand. Being Captain of the Guard meant I should be leading my men in this search. “You stay there!” Kane used his hand to push me back in the seat.

  
       “With all due respect Councilor,” I said as I attempted to leave my seat again, “it is my duty to instruct these men.”

  
       “No,” he made me sit again. “Your only duty now is to get that symbol completed. Lincoln, you can continue.” There was no more argument. Kane and the other council members left the room leaving me with Lincoln and two guards posted on the door- to prevent me from running as well.

  
       I was made to sit in that chair while Lincoln finished marking me with a symbol that would bind me to a runaway. I didn’t know her. Her face is cast into the background of other memories I have. When I think back I can remember her in the Med-Bay when I needed to be stitched up or mended. I can recall seeing her in the corridors. She was one of the people I protected daily, but I don’t know her.

  
       When Lincoln completes the design, the council is brought back in the room to examine his work. Of course, Kane speaks first, “This is good work,” he takes my arm to examine it, “It’s is a good place to start.” _It looks like half of nothing to me._

  
       I try not to look at the symbol- it only angers me. Abby applies a bandage to it and quickly I grab my shirt and start redressing myself. “Can I go now? We need to find her.” Abby’s face snaps to the side at my harsh tone, but says nothing. “Has there been any progress in the search?”

  
       “No,” Jaha answers, “but, it won’t be long now. It has only been thirty minutes, and there are not that many places in Arkadia to hide.”

  
       “And there is no way she got through the fence. Okay,” as I swing my vest over my shoulder I grab my radio from my belt and start giving orders to my team. “Let’s get this done.”

  
       In teams of two we search every corridor and every room. A new guard named Eli and I are searching past the cafeteria when I remember something. I remember her coming down this way. This area is pretty deserted- it’s mostly used for storage.

  
       “We should check down here,” Eli follows me down the hall. We search on opposite sides behind boxes.

  
       There is the sound of a box falling and Eli gasps. She eludes his arms and tries to run again but I catch her. We fall to the ground in a struggle, “Get over here Eli! Help me restrain her!” She continues to resist.

  
       Eli pulls us up and pushes her against the wall, “I got her. Why don’t you put the restraints around her wrist?”

  
      I move toward them ready to grab her arm. As my hands reach for her she pushes Eli back. I attempt to force her back to the wall. When I get close she throws her elbow over her shoulder. It connects with my nose and again she runs.

  
       Only for a second do I pause. With blood running down my chin and staining my uniform I chase her.

  
       I was seeing red.

  
       This time she wasn’t hard to catch.

  
       When I got her restraints on I told Eli to radio the council and tell them we were headed to the Med-Bay- and to be ready.

  
       As we walk down the corridor the girl had stopped fighting quite a bit. She was silent. We were joined by four other guards- she wasn’t getting away this time. People stood against the wall as we passed. They spoke in whispers-taking in the spectacle. We pushed into the Med-Bay and Lincoln and the Council were waiting.

  
       Abby was standing with a needle full of liquid, “The Council has decided,” she gulped- she seemed to be having a hard time speaking, “to assist in the process we will be putting you on a mild sedative.” The girl began to struggle again. Another guard helped me to hold her still as Abby sedated her.

  
       I was pulled to the side of the room as she was put in a seat and restrained. While Jackson was setting my now broken nose, she continued to fight. “It will take a few minutes for the sedative to take effect,” Abby explained. “She won’t be unconscious, only subdued,” she pulled the girl’s hair around her shoulder.

  
       The girl sought out my gaze. I forced myself to remember her name. Cassiana. Her eyes portrayed complete terror. I was surprised to find my feelings mirroring hers. I could visibly see the sedative take effect. Her muscles relaxed and her eyes lost their urgency. The blazing fire within them had been reduced to embers.

  
       The Council was elated when Lincoln went to work marking her. “And now our future can start,” Kane said. As he walked out of the room he put his hand on my shoulder, “You did well bringing her back.”

  
       After my nose was set I stayed and watched. I was disgusted with myself and with what was happening, but I would force myself watch as her life was permanently ruined. I had undone the choice made when she ran. Now this was my fault.


	5. In Permanance

       Consciousness comes back in a blur. I open my eyes to the dull, familiar lights of the med-bay. Laying completely still, I take a few moments to mentally assess my form. The drugs they gave me to make me sleep were wearing off, making my head ache. My wrists were stinging from their time in restraints. There was a light ache on my forearm from the mark.

       It is not long before my consciousness is noticed. Abby approached my hospital bed and grabbed my wrist to check my pulse. “I am alive Abby.” My tone leaked exasperation.

       She gave me a sad smile, “I know Cassy.”  Her eyes scanned my form, briefly stopping on the mark. I saw the concern in her eyes vanish and her expression change into something I did not recognize. “It is time to get up. We are expected.” When she spoke, her militant tone pulled me back to my reality.

       With a new sense of urgency, I slipped my boots on my feet without tying the laces, and then we were off.

       Abby, along with two guards, walked me through the corridor. Our destination was obvious. We were on our way to the council chamber.

       I started to worry as my feet continued on their inherent path. _What would this meeting entail? Would I be punished for running? What did the council have planned for Bellamy and me? How is Bellamy?_

       I was pulled from my thoughts when we approached the door. The room was packed with the entire council and many other spectators.

       There he stood, the one whose mark completed mine, in front of a semi-circle table. I was guided to the vacant spot by his side and risked a glance at his face.

       He looked like shit. That much was true. There was a stint on his nose- because of me. Both of his eyes were lightly blackened- because of me. His face seemed hollow as if he hadn’t slept well- I wondered if that was also because of me.

       “The council is glad to see you up and well Mrs. Blake.” When Kane spoke, I flinched.

       That was not my name. They decided who I married. They decided that I would have children. They decided to take away my choices. I just wanted my name.

       “It’s Dr. Miles actually.” I just wanted my name.

       “Blake is your married name,” Jaha addressed me. “You can go by Cassy Blake or Cassy Miles-Blake, but the reality is you are no longer just Cassy Miles.”

       I lowered my head defeated. The person I had always been was gone.

       “While that is a good matter to be settled, it is not why you are both here today.” I didn’t look as Kane cut in. “Cassy, due to yesterday’s unnecessary… _spectacle_ we have decided to station two guards on you at all times.”

       “That’s a bit excessive.” I guess I am not so defeated after all, “I don’t want two brutes getting in my way at work or otherwise.

       Bellamy speaks up, “While I don’t agree with her discontent, I do think that one guard is more than enough.”

       “The council insists on two guards.”

       “Well I think it is more practical for one guard to watch her during work and I will be with her any other time.” Bellamy ignored Kane’s attempt to interrupt, “and as Captain of the Guard we just don’t have the man power for _two_ guards to watch _one_ person 24/7.”

       Jaha stepped in before Kane could object further. “So,” he looked at his fellow council members, “she will have a guard on her at all times.”

       With a few murmurs and nods the subject was changed. They continued to talk about unity and the future but eventually I tuned out. I just couldn’t listen anymore.

       While I was still in the relative safety of my mind, the meeting ended, and I was _again_ being herded like an animal. Kane, Jaha, and Abby lead Bellamy and me across Arkadia.

       We were lead to an area where ground had been broken to make way for our permanent homes on the ground. My mind connected the dots a heartbeat before we laid our feet on the newly tilled dirt.

       Kane’s relentless speech on how I would contribute to Arkadia’s future droned on in the background as I took in my surroundings.

       It was the first and only permanent building so far in Arkadia. The building stood in the very Southwest corner of camp. I briefly took in the simple exterior as I followed the group inside- then I began to process the interior.

       The door opened into a small sitting area. On the wall to my left was a couch, and on the opposite wall there was a small table and two chairs. Past the table I saw a closed door.

       “We have thought long hard about the future of Arkadia. We want to live and prosper on the land of our predecessors.” I chose to ignore his repetitive monologue, and instead concentrated on the room

       I studied the simple wood flooring- was it slick or unpolished? I tried to unravel the intricacies of the upholstery- was it smooth or rough. I tried not to contemplate the implications of that damned door.

       Kane’s hand drifted the doorknob as he continued to speak, “To cement your union, we have decided that you should start your lives in permanent quarters on the ground.” To punctuate his speech, he swung the door open.

       He fell silent- electing to let the room speak for itself.

       It was a large room. Immediately to the left of the entrance was another door. This one was open- revealing a bathroom. It had the standard facilities: a shower, a toilet, and a sink.

       In the center of the room was a daunting bed. I made an effort to ignore Bellamy’s presence as I gazed at the room’s center piece. It was relatively the same size as the bed my dad once shared with my mother on the Ark- the typical bed of a married couple. The bed was obviously meant to snuggly fit two people.

       This was the exact place where our future on the ground would be conceived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has been so long since i updated. My editor and I had conflicting schedules and couldn't get together. Enjoy the chapter and know there is another coming a.s.a.p.


	6. Speak Now  Or...(Bellamy's POV)

       I have nothing to say. I am standing beside her- she looks dazed and scared. The members of the council just left us. Shoulder to shoulder with the same dumbfounded look on both of our faces.

       I know I should say something. I have been overcome by guilt since that needle first pierced her skin. I haven’t slept. My job made it easy to not have to face my thoughts. I could stare off into the night for hours under the pretense of standing guard.

       I remember this morning when they called me to the council chambers. I entered the packed room and stood still until she came in and revived the waves of tension in my body. At least this time she seemed slightly alert. Eli and John guided her to the spot which was blatantly left empty beside me. She was scared, but I could tell by the way her eyes quickly assessed her surroundings that she was ready for anything.

       “The council is glad to see you up and well, Mrs. Blake.” My stomach twists and my vision narrows. I am brought back to the room and its proceedings. Ms. Blake is my sister. Ms. Blake was my mother. Two people I failed to protect. That will not happen this time.

       I liked the fury in her eyes, Jaha called her by my name and she pounced. and I found myself surprisingly disappointed when she backed down. She struck again when the council tried to impose a two-guard system on her. This time I couldn’t stop myself from rallying to her side.

       The meeting cracked on with more formalities. I watched Cassy- _Ms. Blake-_   for her reactions on the rest of the meeting, but her face portrayed nothing until we were in the house.

       The walk to the building was brief. The dwelling was of no consequence to me, I was focused on her. After Kane made a bad joke when leading us into the bedroom he left.

       The mood quickly became heavy again. Standing there next to my _wife_ , I tried to think of anything comforting to say. Right as I opened my mouth to break the tension my radio sprang to life, calling me away. Cassy was still standing, staring silently at the room, so I left without a word.

**_B   -_ **

**_Come to my workshop, ASAP. It’s about Clarke._ **

**_-  R_ **

       Abby and I had been working for months to figure out how to find a way to locate Clarke. I arrived at Raven’s workshop in minutes; she had a plan.  We were worried because there had been no trace of Clarke since she and I had led our people back to Arkadia. She shouldn’t be dealing with her guilt of exterminating the Mountain alone.

       After several hours we had our search area divided into sectors. It was too late to start today, but we made plans to hit the first plot in the morning. I hated waiting, but I knew we would eventually work our way through the whole grid. I had now exhausted this particular distraction and it was time to return… home. I headed to the edge of Arkadia, my anticipation growing as I got closer to my new residence. Would Cassy be awake? Would she still be around? I could normally read people well enough to predict their actions, but Cassy was a puzzle to me. I remembered the story of Alexander the Great and the Gordian Knot; I only hoped that eventually the solution would be as obvious.

       The building was dark when I approached. I dismissed the guard by the door and entered. The light from the moon made it possible for me to see her sleeping on the couch. Apparently, she was going to be very good at avoiding me. I couldn’t really blame her.

       I tried to figure out what I was supposed to do now. Should I wake her up or carry her to the bed? She’d probably be pissed with either of those. After hesitating in the doorway for several moments I silently made my way to the bedroom, consumed by thoughts of her. She was strong. She didn’t rely on anyone. She knew how to set the things in her favor, and she did.

       I entered the room and was careful to turn on the light only after I shut the door. She had been busy. My stuff, that had been in a box in the corner, had been separated in to a small four-by-four storage unit along with her stuff. Two quadrants held my uniforms and an extra set of clothes and the other two held hers. Above that, the books of Greek history and battle strategies mingled with her books of medical procedures and medicinal plants.

       I felt ashamed that she was laying on the couch as I stretched out over the surface of the bed, but I realized I needed to start respecting her choices. I stripped down to my boxers and fell asleep almost immediately.

       I woke up to her stomping into the bedroom. She didn’t even look at me before ducking into the bathroom, and I heard the lock click before the shower came on. It was still dark outside the window, but I quickly got dressed and went to wait in the sitting area. I didn’t want her to have to dodge me while getting ready.

       The shower turned off just as I could see the sun beginning to peek out over the horizon. She emerged a few minutes later. Her hair was wet, and she still looked tired. She jumped when she saw me and I winced at her fear.

       I wanted to speak. It should have been up to me to speak first. Even though I hadn’t put us in this situation, I was responsible for it coming to fruition.  But she was the one to break the silence, “I have to go to work.”

       “Oh, okay.” She waited, but I didn’t know what else to say.

       “You have to ‘guard’ me or something, right?” she said scathingly.

       I had almost forgotten about her new security. “Oh yeah…I’m ready when you-” she brushed past me and walked out of the house before I could finish.

      _How the hell am I going to convince her that she's not a prisoner here?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update: I am still going. This story will not abandoned.

**Author's Note:**

> The first story I have ever let anyone I know read. This is for you AJ.


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